Life.
Life is such a complicated thing. Everything can be happened. Every people can influence each other. It’s really annoying. I hate it, but it’s the fact. We can’t avoid it. It’s rule. Rule made by universe.
My life, and may be yours, very tiring. Everyday we just want to escape, don’t even want to face it. I’ve ever felt that way. I really want to go somewhere which none there. But, we just can’t. All of the stuff is really fucking disgusting. You don’t know why, you just hate it. I just. I hate my family, my friends, my relatives, my room, my book, my lecturer, my class, and even me myself! What a terrible person I am!
May be I was sick of something unreasonable. I try to find out what it is. But I just fail. Or maybe I never try once. I pretend to care about this fucking damn shit thing, but deep in my heart I just ignore it. This is it the thing, emptiness. Have you ever felt it? You will be such a jerk, if you never, you’ll be just a liar. I know exactly we should feel it, even once in life. They are emptiness of nothingness, emptiness of loneliness, emptiness of loveliness, emptiness of business, and perhaps emptiness of fullness. Aren’t they?
I’m tired all the way. I’m not a teenage anymore. I shouldn’t live like exactly I was ten years old girl, because I am almost a woman. I’m still pretending like I’m a little girl with her pony tail, and try to prevent the maturity come to her world, her life. System makes me run from reality; I just don’t want to face it. I just. How childish I am. I don’t want they broke my balancing. I just dislike. I am a bastard right now. I can’t believe that I’m only a big no-no person.
I feel so irritating watch everything run not in their orbit. You want get a great mark, you should study. You should. You want to be rich, you should work hard. You should. Not cheating. We should. Like everyday you do it as always. This fucking craziness is really disgusting annoying irritating terrible damn shit! I want to shout at you all, you all are dumb! You don’t even know what you are doing. Don’t you feel guilty? No. You even are laughing hard in front of the person who is better than you all. You are such a dumb donkey! You!
Life.
Life.
Live your life well. Feel it, that you are disgusting. Feel it.
You care not, hah? You are really such a fucking damn shit thing! You!
[Nov, 25/2010]
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